Mission accomplished: 5 tips for returned missionaries

Returning from a mission can be difficult. Missionaries for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints have months of a specific mindset, rigid schedule and noble purpose that suddenly ends. Many LDS returned missionaries experience guilt, confusion and stress. Like with any major life change, the emotional difficulties can be lessened by turning to the Lord, seeking help and finding direction from family and church leaders. Below are five additional steps to successfully adjust back home.

Step 1: Rituals of return

Rituals of return welcome missionaries home and recognize their sacrifice. They include the exit interview, meeting at the airport, reporting to the bishop and high council, speaking at church and family gatherings. These traditional activities validate missionaries’ experiences and build their social confidence. They expose missionaries to potentially uncomfortable situations that are safe. Re-learning to naturally interact can be trying, but it is a great exposure for acclimating to post-mission life.

Step 2: Acknowledge and accept changes

Mormon missionaries and their families and friends change during the 18-24 months apart. Reconnecting can be stressful and confusing. Expectations can be unrealistic. Conflict can arise by trying to force people into who they were before or by not accepting who they are now. Be patient. It can take time to rediscover each other.

Returned missionaries do not anticipate becoming sad, lonely or bored and can feel guilt or embarrassment as a result. The first key is to treat these emotions as natural and even expected in the weeks and months ahead. Some may try to avoid uncomfortable situations; a better strategy is to emphasize growth and try to create opportunities to share activities that RMs and family and friends can all feel comfortable doing. Family games, outings and meals are excellent ideas.

Step 3: Transitioning from missionary to member

It can be a challenge for RMs to feel comfortable at home. Sometimes returning from a mission feels like a demotion. Returned missionaries can feel more defined by their short-term past as a missionary than their long-term history as a member of a family and community. RMs need a sense of purpose to replace their callings as a missionary and to build a new sense of self.

While some down time can be cathartic and enjoyable, do not wait to set up activities that will help redirect your missionary zeal to member duties. Go on splits with your local elders or sisters. Continue to invite others to come unto Jesus Christ. Pray for missionary opportunities. Serving in the temple, getting involved in a young single adult ward and getting a job all provide opportunities to apply leadership and work skills

Step 4: Moving forward with a plan

After recognizing the need to adapt and deciding the route to take — act! It takes time and effort, but a plan helps increase success. Continue to set goals. Create structure for your money with a budget; for your time with a planner.

Figure out ways to apply the important life lessons learned while serving. Reflect on priorities, goals and standards. Decide on characteristics of your mission that you want to maintain. Ponder how they can meld with the priorities and traditions of your family and culture.

Step 5: Embrace agency

As time passes, RMs have so many options back home that the responsibility to choose can become overbearing — they feel like they are drowning in choices. Embrace agency! Remember that additional responsibility and accountability are a part of life and your mission has prepared you for them. Relying on parents, friends, and the Spirit is crucial. Reach out to former companions and other RMs to feel peace in camaraderie. Remember the experience of Alma and the sons of Mosiah: “they were still his brethren in the Lord” and “had waxed strong in the knowledge of the truth” because “they had searched the scriptures diligently” and “they had given themselves to much prayer and fasting” (Alma 17:1-3).

Conclusion

Returning from a mission is difficult, but it can be easier if returned missionaries are able to acclimate in a welcoming environment. Family members and friends play a key role. RMs can help ease their own return. Flexibility, love and appropriate expectations help. These five steps can guide missionaries, their families and their friends to successfully transition home from the field.